Coping with miscarriage & 9 ways to empower yourself.

Coping with a miscarriage is a heavy thing to pass through. Here're 9 ways to reach for emotional and physical health.

Taking the time and the necessary steps for coping with miscarriage is an essential time because experiencing one is a weighty thing to pass through. I know it because I just passed one, and the truth is that it really sucks. It is like a roller coaster of emotions where you pass through all 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, with no particular order.

For me, knowing that life continues after losing a pregnancy represented a feeling of complete emptiness. Knowing that you must let go of an illusion that would change your entire life forever is very challenging. So, how you cope after your loss will make a massive difference in your recovery and moving-on process. 

Because you do not want to feel sorry for yourself. Right? You may have to go to work and give your best. Or perhaps you may have more kids you need to take care of. Whatever the situation is, you want to move where you can enjoy life and make peace again. You also want to get physically, mentally, and spiritually aligned and ready for whatever life will bring you, including a new pregnancy! 

In today’s article and video, I share the 9 ways I used for coping with miscarriage and how I tracked my emotional and physical health after losing a very wanted 12-week-old pregnancy. I share how I got right back on my feet, balancing my body and mind to work on getting pregnant again. Therefore, if you are going through a similar process, I hope this article helps you regain power, positivity, and control back!.

Miscarriage

Experiencing a miscarriage is way more common than I thought. Approximately 25% of women experience a miscarriage in their lifetime, and one in three pregnancies ends before 24 weeks of gestation (mainly before week 14). And if you are here reading this, it probably is because you have already passed one and/or know one or many who did. Maybe it was your spouse, partner, girlfriend, mom, aunt, daughter, or cousin. 

It is essential to mention that as sucky as miscarriage is, it is nobody’s fault (and most certainly not yours) because miscarriage does not exclude age or ethnicity. It is just the way nature works. In my case, I had one, and many of my girlfriends, my mom, and my grandmother had multiple miscarriages. Again, unfortunately, it is a very common event. This is why I cannot stop thinking it is essential to create more awareness around it, especially if you are a woman who is trying to get pregnant again. Given that, how you cope after your loss will make a massive difference in your recovery and moving-on process. 

Coping with miscarriage

So, how do you cope with miscarriage? Well, here are 9 ways to empower yourself after passing through this event. 

1. Connect 

With other women’s stories.

We, humans, need to know we are not alone, nor are we not the ‘only ones’ passing through a painful event. Nociting that other women are going through the same feelings you have now is supportive. To know that others have passed through similar experiences and made it through is very empowering information. Also, realizing that this sad story can have a happy ending can make you feel much more positive and peaceful, and you can even look forward to what is coming your way. 

So please, friend, connect with other women; trust me. You can do it by talking with friends or family who have passed through the same situation or connecting with people online. Also, you can just read miscarriage stories in online forums or assist with a support group. 

I joined different Facebook groups and online forums where women shared their personal experiences, tips, and how they have their “rainbow baby” now. After reading their pain and success stories, I felt so supported and optimistic. You would be amazed by how much support you can feel as female energy thoroughly nourishes. 

2. Be mindful 

Of the information you seek. 

You are not a number! As simple as this. As with everything on the internet, we must be mindful of what we seek. Due to my condition of PMP (partial molar pregnancy), I started reading statistics and the risks of this condition. It was clear how bad and stressed I was beginning to feel.

 

I rapidly decided not to put myself in those numbers and focus only on histories of success. Instead of feeding my mind with fear and probabilities, it feels like living in a horror movie (no, thank you!). I read about success, beautiful stories like women getting pregnant after a miscarriage and having a baby, or couples getting closer after passing an event like this one. I saw how this made me feel positive, and positivism is crucial in any recovery process. 

3. Be fact-based

See the situation as it is.

I know this is tough because we humans get caught all day long believing our thoughts even though they aren’t true. But, for real, is what you think right now true? Remember, not all the thoughts that come to your mind are true! So please keep an open mind to see the situation only as it, as the observer, wholly detached from the feeling. 

Let me give you an example so you can see what I mean. Instead of believing, “I lost a baby,” I say, “I lost a pregnancy.” Which one is true? I didn’t lose a baby because I didn’t have a baby to lose. Right? What I lost was the illusion of having a baby. That baby existed only in my mind (my husband’s, mom’s, and so on). But it was not a real baby.

So, by questioning my thoughts and finding factual arguments, I started seeing the situation as it really was, which made me feel much calmer and empowered. 

As of now, I think I have lost a pregnancy. Miscarriage is a normal process of life and nature, and nothing is wrong with me. My body is made to get pregnant; if I could get pregnant once, I could do it again and again. 

I declare that I will be pregnant again sooner rather than later; it feels good in my soul.

4. Share 

Whatever you are feeling.

It is necessary to allow whatever feelings arise in you. Go ahead if you need to cry, get angry, be alone, or not do anything for a while. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to so you can let it go. 

If you want to cry, go ahead! If you need to get angry, go ahead! If you don’t want to do anything for a while, that is perfect! If you desire to ignore it, please do. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to so you can let it go. Remember that feelings are only visitors; they come, show themselves to teach you something, and then leave. Please don’t get stuck with them. And share what is going on inside you. It might be as a conversation or journaling (this one is HUGE for me!).

Also, as I already discussed, it is essential to share our stories and create a better support system for every person who passes through this. 

5. Focus on the good 

Happening now in your life.

For many reasons, humans tend to have the habit of focusing on what’s missing. Making it more challenging to appreciate what is really here and now. To make it worse, when you are grieving a miscarriage, it’s harder to think about something other than fear and sadness. So we must give ourselves a little bit of help. 

Grace and gratefulness are the best antidotes for anxiety, sadness, and anger. And as like attracts like, if you focus on the good happening in your life right now, the love in you will grow faster and more robust. So I propose to start by writing (yes, write it by hand on a piece of paper) a list of all the goods you have in your life right now and allow yourself to connect with each of the things you put on the list. Feel each one of those things. Allow time and presence with every one of them. Close your eyes and put a man in your heart. Breathe slowly in and out, and connect. You can make this exercise any time you need to.

Also, I made a 5-minute gratitude journal you can use every night before sleeping to connect with the power of gratefulness. Find it here.

6. Prioritize

Positivism.

Positivism in life is vital to feeling good, do you agree? Maintaining positivity while experiencing a miscarriage is challenging. However, there are ways to enhance positivism even in tough times. The Power Of Affirmations! Oh yes! Have you tried them before? If not, I really hope you give them a try! 

When I need a good dose of positivism, I write down different affirmations that resonate with me, ranging from 3 to 6. Then, I repeat them whenever it feels right and when I need the reminder. This could be while doing any practice, such as meditation, yoga, breathing, or during daily activities like showering, driving, or sitting on my house’s porch looking at the trees.

The affirmations I used while recovering from a Partial Molar Pregnancy (PMP)(read my story here) were:

“Health is coming my way.”

“My body is healing and reaching balance.”

“I am mentally stable and well.”

“I am strong, and supreme intelligence runs inside me.”

Please choose whichever resonates best with you; the possibilities are endless. 

7. Know where you are standing

In terms of health.

First, you must know where you stand to address a health issue. This way, you know what to fix and plan a roadmap to get those results. 

In my case, I decided to approach my health recovery from the PMP holistically. I had my head doctor’s OBGY and sought a Naturopathic doctor’s help, and I’m so glad I did! He spotted many things that needed to be corrected in my metabolism, including inflammation, anemia, overactive liver, adrenal glands, and low reversed T3. Plus, he discovered some food intolerances I didn’t know I had.

So yeah, there were so many things to correct; it was scary (to say the least), but I had a starting point. From there was only room for improvement. My goal was to reach for balance and prepare my body for a new pregnancy. 

You are a holistic being, and your health depends on many factors. What you eat, what you put in your body, what you think, the words you use daily, the relationships around you, etc., constantly influence your health. If you are asking, the best advice I can give you is to check your overall health: hormones, metabolism, reproductive system, nervous system, diet, gut, mental health… holistically. Get help if you need to; there are so many excellent professionals. If you want to help fix your diet, please check out my Holistic Nutrition Program for women. Diet is fricking important!!

Start eating a nutrient-dense diet.

8. Start journaling.

Journaling is another powerful tool! After losing my pregnancy, I created a recovery journal divided into feelings, thoughts, meditation, breathing, supplements, and an exercise calendar. 

In this journal, I wrote down how I felt, what changes I noticed, all the treatments I was doing, and my results. 

It might sound like a lot, but let me tell you that this was so empowering! Because I could see and measure the advances I was having, and this was vital to feeling better about myself. 

Journaling gave me the sensation that I was starting to take control of my health, that I was healing, and that I was getting stronger again. 

All of this made me so grateful for my body, mind, and spirit’s resilience that I fell even more in love with myself and my wonderful body. 

9. Get yourself a hobby.

Get yourself something elsewhere to put your attention on. Distract yourself! For that, nothing is better than learning something new. As a beginner, you totally suck at doing it! So, you must pass a learning curve that takes a lot of focus and effort. Also, once you get a hobby and start mastering it, you feel damn proud of yourself, which is ideal for your spirit! And for me, this is a perfect opportunity to put your mind to something other than feeling pity for the loss of the pregnancy. 

My new hobby was snowboarding. The winter was getting started, and I decided to try this sport. I fell so many times that it was horribly painful for my body and so much fun. It helped me be outdoors, be in nature, connect with my body, and regain my health! And I fucking did it! I learned to snowboard roughly last winter and am incredibly proud of myself! 

What hobby would you love to learn or retake?

And this, my sweet one, are the 9 ways to cope better with a miscarriage.

Please remember

Please give yourself a lot of love and remember life is always working in our favor. 

With love and gratitude, always

Pia

Ps. Please share this with anybody you think might benefit from it. 

Watch the video

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